An Expat's Life: How To Make Friends

Childhood friend

When I moved to Seattle in 1999, having only ever lived in the house where I was born and raised in West Valley City, Utah (represent!), I had a hard time making friends. It was the first time I realized both how important friends are as well as the fact that I had no idea how one goes about making them.

Being born and raised in one place, I'd never grappled with the need to make friends because it had always just happened (plus, with no internet, my options were fairly limited). As a kid it's easy and, as you grow, when you don't have to start from scratch, you never really recognize when you're making friends. One day you just have a new person to call or hangout with. But, when you don't know anyone, and everything is new, making friends becomes a deliberate activity.

Seattle friends

In Seattle, making friends was hard. Without any experience, Mike & I faltered and failed more than once. Eventually, however, we wound up with an amazing group of friends. It took about two years before we had any real friends though, and we met those almost exclusively through our various jobs.

In 2010, when we moved to Dundee, we encountered the same conundrum. We went back to our notes from our early days in Seattle, hoping to duplicate our successes and minimize our failures, desperate for immediate results as we didn't have 11 years to cultivate friendships, as we had in Seattle. We were on an accelerated timeline and wanted friends NOW! And, looking back, we were fairly successful. We still have friends from our early days in Dundee, both from my various jobs as well as Mike's school. But, we weren't really successful until we moved to London in 2012.

London friends

In London we discovered the magic of the Yelp community and, with it, our first expat community. Since Yelp was still in its early days in London, most in the community were expats and expats, as we found, are instant friends. Additionally, I wound up working at a stellar organization with topnotch colleagues and became fast friends with most of them too. Within weeks of arriving in London we had an amazing group of friends, both locals and expats.

In New York City we attempted all the tricks we'd picked up in London and prior. Unfortunately, like we've been saying, New York City was hard and what worked for us previously wasn't really working for us there. But, since we maintained our expat skills, and expats are usually open to new experiences, I persevered and eventually discovered the HarlemGo Meetup Group.

NYC friends

Meetup is very popular in New York City and HarlemGo, though not providing us with any long-term friends, provided us with some much needed socialization. Eventually, we also wound up crafting a really good group of friends through our jobs.

When we moved to Taiwan last year we were immediately greeted by a large group of expats, instant friends, because Mike's new colleagues, native English speaking teachers, are all expats. But, we're also keen to make friends with some locals, though our inability to speak the local language is proving a difficult obstacle. Still, as expats we persevere.

Kaohsiung friends

Earlier this month, while revisiting some of our old tricks, I came across Conversation Kaohsiung, a Meetup group of mostly locals wanting to practice their language skills. This group has already proven quite fruitful as we've already gone to multiple events with them or those we've met through them. It's a very promising start.

Additionally, last week Yelp announced their expansion into Taiwan and, though the community is in its infancy, I'm optimistic that it might be able to play a similar role for us here as it did in London. We're also set to begin Chinese lessons in April, which will hopefully help us overcome that pesky language issue.

Our time in Taiwan has already been exceptional and these new developments will hopefully only add to our experience here, no doubt making it that much harder to leave when the time comes. But, if and when we do leave, making friends is no longer the obstacle it once was because of the lessons we've learned from the trials and tribulations we've faced in the past. By being open to new experiences and not afraid of trying new things, we're meeting new people from all around the world and getting to call them friends. Our friends enrich our lives exponentially. We only hope they're getting something out of it too.

Birthday Month

my birthday balloons

Even though both Mike & I celebrate our birthdays in April, the entire month used to be just for me. Mike would get his day but I would have the whole month for my celebrations. In recent years, for some reason, I've become much more generous and have begun ceding more and more of my month to Mike for his celebrations. This year I gave him the whole latter half. You're welcome, Mike. And happy birthday.

Even with only half of the month dedicated to me, I still had a great time! Celebrity sightings, dinners out, a boozy brunch, the zoo, bowling, a cruise; it was a near constant celebration.

Cruising NYC

Mike's half was fairly celebratory as well, though we both got sick this week and have kind of sputtered to a rather unimpressive end. Still, I bet if you ask him he'll tell you he had a pretty great time.

Now that birthday month is over, and we're fully ensconced in May, we are officially less than a month away from our big move. We've given our landlord notice and I've given my employer notice, we've bought all our tickets, made arrangements with family and friends, and are now getting ready to start purging our possessions. Soon we'll be on our way and this whole experience will be in the past tense.

Happy at the zoo

Before we go, however, there are a few things we'd still like to do while based in New York. Because we've lived the last year with this mindset however, our list of items still unaccomplished is fairly short. Still, we've kept our May rather empty to allow for last minute additions and adventures. The list so far:

1. Run around the reservoir in Central Park.
2. Day trip to Montauk. (Where Revenge takes place and, also, just to see the Hamptons.)
3. Ride the Cyclone at Coney Island.

If we're able to accomplish these before we leave then this will continue to be the best move experience we've had since we originally moved to Seattle in 1999. After recent move experiences, that's not a bad position to be in at all.

Winter Blows

The last sunset of 2013, Coney Island

We ended 2013 at our favorite beach in NYC, watching the last sunset of the year at Coney Island. We had hoped to make it a whole event, with Irish coffees and noise makers, but it was freaking cold. Like, I'm surprised we didn't die of exposure kind of cold. And, not one restaurant was open to help us with the Irish coffees. Come on!

We still watched the sunset and walked the boardwalk from Coney Island to Brighton Beach but then we jumped on the subway tout suite and celebrated the new year from the warmth of our East Harlem flat.

The last sunset of 2013, Coney Island

After greeting the new year from the steps of Sacre Coeur in Paris and the Spanish Steps in Rome, perhaps you're wondering why we didn't make an effort this year and watch the ball drop in Times Square? Perhaps you're also unaware of the freaking clusterfuck it is down there? First of all, you have to be situated by 3pm. Secondly, the police barricades keep you rooted until after midnight, meaning you can't move from the spot you chose before 3pm for a full 9 hours. And, unless you're in a certain spot, you also can't see the ball drop. Finally, the coup de grâce, there are no public restrooms. Seriously.

In all our travels we've never encountered anything as ridiculous as Times Square on New Year's Eve for crowd control. Times Square is a freaking mess during the best of times, man. I can't imagine what fools actually brave all that bullshit to stand in the cold for nine solid hours. I'd rather be warm and drink copiously with easy access to bladder emptying facilities. God we're getting old. And smart.

President Clinton and Mayor de Blasio

New Year's Day saw us at the Mayor's inauguration celebration. I scored a couple of tickets to the event, which also got us a couple of blankets, some souvenir mugs, and a free lunch, plus the closest I've ever come to a past or present US President. (I may have been closer to a future President Barack Obama in 2008 but he was on the other side of a structure at the Seattle Center so I didn't really get to see him. I heard him though. Magical.) The following weekend, we also got to tour Gracie Mansion, the Mayor's residence, and we both had our picture taken with him. His staff hasn't emailed those out yet but I'm sure they're coming. (Shakes fist in air.)

Atlantic City, NJ

Our first mini-break of the year was to Atlantic City, NJ. We got a killer deal so were able to stay right on the famous Boardwalk, in the Bally's on Park Place. I'm not sure what I expected but reports of the city's death and degradation have been greatly exaggerated. Atlantic City is gorgeous! The casino scene might be a bit like downtown Las Vegas, a bit down and out, but the beach is ahhh-mazing and the boardwalk itself is in great condition! Though we didn't escape the boardwalk area during our short stay, I wouldn't mind going back to explore the rest of the city. Seriously, Atlantic City, where have you been all my life?

East River, NYC Cruise

We wrapped up our January with a lovely 3-hour nighttime cruise around Manhattan. It was a great way to see the city and a lovely experience all around.

New York State of Mind

As Mike begins applying for jobs abroad and we begin planning our escape from New York I can't help but reminisce about our move to New York and the plans we had for this place. We've been here over a year now and, in our current state of disenchantment, it's hard to recall our excitement at the prospect of calling this city home but, even with the sadness we had about leaving London, we were genuinely excited about moving to New York City.

I remember being so excited about our move here that I would force my officemates to listen to optimistic New York tunes on our shared Spotify playlist ad nauseam. After one too many Alicia Keys' "Empire State of Mind" plays my buddy introduced me to LCD Soundsystem's "New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down" to balance out the vibe. Perhaps I should have adopted his perspective then because, while I still enjoy the occasional "New York, New York," I'm finding my current empire state of mind is more LCD Soundsystem than Alicia Keys; more Ray LaMontagne's "New York City's Killing Me" than Frank Sinatra.

We had grand plans for this move, believing New York was going to be our permanent home. We were going to be so happy here. We were going to put down roots, become members at a few of the museums, volunteer at a few others, make amazing friends. Mike was going to be an artist. I was going to work at the Clinton Foundation or United Nations. After a few years, maybe Mike would open up his own gallery.

Perhaps, amidst all our hopes and dreams, we briefly considered that New York City might not work out but we never fathomed that our perception of New York City could be so wrong. I guess, "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere" is actually less optimistic than we had perceived. Damn you and your catchy tunes, Frank Sinatra. Damn you.

Happy Holidays!

Snow on the morning commute

As we begin our 2013 Christmas celebrations here in New York City, I can't help but be reminded of our recent Christmases. Last year we celebrated in London; 2011 we were in Rome; 2010 we were in Paris; and, in 2009, when this trend of travelling over the holidays began, we celebrated with family in Kaohsiung. This year, similar to last year, we find ourselves staying in the city where we live, which isn't a bad thing but not as exciting as previous years.

Although not necessarily our first choice, New York City has been really great during this time of year. First of all, the city is deserted, making normal tasks a bit more pleasant. Like today, for instance, I was almost the only person on the bus during my morning commute.

Secondly, the weather has been all over the place, hitting all the extremes, providing a bit of excitement on a day to day basis. Although today it appears to be back to normal, hovering in the 30s (F), this past week was more like a Roman holiday, even hitting 70 degrees over the weekend. Two weeks ago we were way below zero and had a pretty heavy snow storm, which we didn't really get to take advantage of because we were both sick.

Christmas trees are being sold in pop-up shops on almost every corner, providing a pleasant pine scent and special festive note, allowing us to feel festive even without decorations of our own. And, surprisingly, if we avoid certain areas of the city (between Park and 6th Avenues in the 50s), we're not even overwhelmed by the worst part of the season, consumers and holiday tourists.

As we prepare to begin our Christmas celebrations by brewing vin chaud and wandering the country's number one neighborhood for holiday lights, we wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. Although we probably won't be celebrating Christmas in the traditional New York way - with a movie and Chinese food - we do plan on wandering the city, taking pictures at the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, meandering through Central Park, viewing the window displays at Saks Fifth Avenue and Barney's, and otherwise just absorbing our surroundings. Even if this isn't our last Christmas in New York, it's definitely our first and we're looking forward to making it a memorable one. We hope you have a memorable and joyous holiday season too.

November

Bronx River Trail

On the first weekend in November, we ventured north, to the border of Westchester County in the Bronx, to ramble the Bronx River Trail.  We started at Muskrat Cove and almost made it the full 9.5 miles before heading towards the nearest subway at Bruckner Blvd, just north of where the Bronx River joins the East River, due to waning daylight and no clear path across the rather busy expressway. The ramble was mostly disappointing as it's not very well marked (hence our early departure), still under construction in parts (which caused us to miss "one of the most striking features...the roaring waterfalls at River Park"), and not terribly picturesque due to all the litter.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon inflation

Moving on towards the end of the month, our Thanksgiving celebrations began on Wednesday night when we ventured over to the Upper West Side to watch the balloons get prepped for the next day's parade.  We wound up missing the actual parade on Thursday morning but still had a lovely day, leisurely wandering down to our restaurant in the Financial District.  We had such a great time stuffing ourselves full of salmon, beef and turkey that we completely forgot about giving thanks.  Though we didn't think to take a moment over dinner to give thanks, we are of course thankful that we were able to stuff ourselves full of salmon, beef and turkey.

Sleepy Hollow, Old Croton Aqueduct trail

We rambled the rest of November away, venturing north to Sleepy Hollow to walk the Old Croton Aqueduct trail and out to Queens to visit the Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge.

Westchester County, from Tarrytown to Irvington, was just lovely.  The people were super friendly, the towns we passed through were super charming, and the vibe was super artsy (craft ales, art house theater, etc.). We can't wait to venture back up to Tarrytown again, this time heading north to the Rockefeller State Park Preserve and beyond.

Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge

The Jamaica Bay Wildlife Refuge was disappointing.  The refuge itself was hit rather hard by Superstorm Sandy and parts of the main loop trail were completely washed away.  Though the view of Manhattan was rather interesting, the views in the other directions were dismal at best, with a lot of orange construction tape in the bay on one side and JFK airport on the other. Overall, I couldn't believe this was actually a national park. We went to a similar arrangement in Mallorca, the S'Albufera Natural Park, which was exponentially more impressive in regards to the facilities alone. One would expect a national park in New York City to be better maintained than a similar situation on a small island in the Mediterranean, far from any major city. Very disappointing.

Lyndhurst, Westchester County

As we wrap up November and begin the final days of 2013, we'd like to wish everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving, a delayed Happy Hanukkah and a preemptive Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Happiness and good health for all!

October Travels

Our October was filled with travel.  The fall colors have been particularly intriguing to us and we're doing our best to see them before they're gone.  Beyond the changing leaves, the weather has proved very interesting as well.  The month couldn't decide if it was summer or fall, which caused much confusion for the locals.  It'd be 70 degrees (F) and you'd have people commuting to work in their winter coat, boots and scarves because the day before was in the 40s.  Poor confused locals. Mike & I, for our part, are doing just the opposite.  Holding tightly to summer, we're the ones wearing short sleeves and sandals when it's 40 degrees out.  We're awesome.

Bear Mountain Oktoberfest

Our first trip of the month was up to Bear Mountain for their Oktoberfest celebration.  We took the bus up early one Saturday morning, hiked to the top and then celebrated upon our return to the base with some delicious beer and brats.  Bear Mountain is gorgeous and it was such a fun day out.  Definitely a highlight and something I'd definitely like to do again.  If we were staying, this would be an annual trip.

Watkins Glen State Park

Our next trip was up to the Finger Lakes region for Columbus Day weekend.  We were particularly interested in Watkins Glen state park.  We had seen a picture of this park on the subway, as part of the NY tourism campaign, and were so enamored we immediately began making plans to check it out.  It was as amazing in person as advertised.

Ithaca Falls

We stayed in Bath, just south of Keuka Lake. Though we didn't have a chance to explore Keuka Lake at all, we did enjoy roadtripping around Seneca and Cayuga Lakes. We also had a chance to explore Ithaca and the beautiful Cornell University campus.

The Finger Lakes region is well known for its wineries but we didn't have the opportunity to check any of them out. Since we were driving, and the wineries were charging for tastings, we opted against investigating this aspect of the region.  Hot tip: not one of the many wineries we visited in the Sonoma region of California charged tasting fees.  They're samples, folks. One shouldn't charge for samples.  Nor, for that matter, should one be willing to pay for samples.  Greedy vintners.

1999 (left) and 2013

On our return drive from the Finger Lakes we noticed we would be traveling very near where we had honeymooned back in June 1999. Thus, we made a slight detour.  It was fun returning to the area and discovering that our memories were surprisingly accurate.

Oyster Bay, Long Island

Our final trip of the month was out to Oyster Bay on Long Island for the Oyster Festival. Oyster Bay is beautiful and, although it was a relatively short distance from Manhattan, felt like a world away.  It was such a great way to spend one of the last summer like days of the year.

Waning Days of Summer

Yankee Stadium

I remember Labor Day being only a symbolic end to summer, as schools tend to start just after (or just before) and as all calendars are beholden to those of the schools'.  Apparently though, in New York City, and perhaps the whole of the Northeast, Labor Day has proven to be the actual end of summer.  Seriously. Almost to the day our weather started to change and everyone suddenly started sporting scarves, sweaters and jackets.  I didn't lose faith though. I knew summer would return.  It couldn't be over just like that, without a long and drawn out farewell. Right?  Well, I am happy to report, as I write this in the first days of October while we're basking in 80 degree days, my faith was not misplaced.  Summer has returned.

One of the highlights of our September was getting to go to our first Yankees game (vs. White Sox). Mike got some free tickets so we grabbed a couple of friends and proceeded to have a riotous good time watching the Yankees clinch it in the 9th. What a great night!

Fête Paradiso

Another highlight was finally getting a chance to hit Fête Paradiso on Governors Island.  We've been meaning to get out there since it opened earlier this summer but I'm glad we waited until one of its last weekends.  We wound up going on a lovely day and, most importantly, missing the crowds.  We were able to ride a few rides, play (and win) a few games, and enjoy some good music.  It was an event not to be missed and entirely worth the trip out.

Some other highlights included getting to see two of Mike's cousins, in town for a short visit, and venturing over to Jersey for the first time since we moved here in January.  Who knew Hoboken was so freaking cute?  On a separate trip, we ventured farther inland, surviving a night out in Newark.  It's so easy to get to Jersey, only a PATH ride away and only $2.50 each way, I'm not sure why it took us so long.

Kayaking on the Hudson

September finally saw us out on the water too, kayaking the Hudson for free thanks to the Downtown Boathouse.  We also ventured to north Manhattan for New York City's only renaissance festival, which was a freaking blast!  And, to round out our lovely month of awesome, I won a kickass camping chair from REI, bringing our total furniture count up to 5 pieces.

Although we can't prolong the inevitable coming of fall, we're not letting its slow arrival deter us from enjoying these waning days of summer.  Knowing the weather's about to turn gives us extra incentive to make the most out of these days.

Summertime, and the living is easy

outside the Staten Island ferry terminal

So, if it's not clear by now, I am absolutely loving summer in New York.  We're having the best time!  We started off August, and ended our Urban Camping adventures, with an overnight stay at Blue Heron Pond park on Staten Island.  This was our first time on Staten Island, beyond the ferry terminal, and it is lovely.  I'm not sure where its bad reputation stems from but I'm thinking it's like the naming of Iceland, self-perpetuated propaganda to keep out the riffraff.  Blue Heron Pond park was such a nice camping adventure and a great one to end with.

Voice Tunnel at Summer Streets

Among some of the other memorable events from August was definitely Summer Streets, a street fair on Park Avenue.  This year the showcase item of the event was Voice Tunnel, which shut down the Park Ave tunnel to cars for the first time in its history.  It was pretty cool.

One of the major treats of the month was having our buddy from Dundee come and visit; our first house guest since Seattle.  We got to play host and take him to our favorite bars, to a free Toni Braxton concert in Brooklyn and to The High Line.  He even came to watch me teach my ESL class at Columbia.  It was so much fun having him visit us we can't wait until he returns (he's promised he's coming back before we leave next year).  House guests are fun (especially if they don't care if they sleep on an air mattress in, basically, a corridor)!

enjoying The High Line with
our first NYC house guest

Speaking of free concerts, in addition to the awesome Toni Braxton one, we also got to see Huey Lewis and the News perform at Coney Island. They're currently touring for the 30th anniversary of Sports, playing the whole album from start to finish.  They were awesome!  We had so much fun dancing and singing like it was 1983.  At the end of the concert, after an encore, Huey Lewis says, "I'm Huey Lewis and you've just heard the news" and then lights went out and the show was over.  He's so cool!

Old friends in Southport, CT

There are a couple of other highlights from this summer that must also be mentioned.  One, our old friends from Seattle (the same ones we lived with prior to moving to the UK) were on the east coast visiting family and, because being on the east coast is much closer than where they're usually located, we got to see them!  We met half way in Southport, CT and proceeded to have a lovely evening, picking up almost precisely where we had left off almost exactly 3 years earlier.  New friends are amazing and fun but nothing beats the comfort and joy of being surrounded by old friends.  GD we've missed them!

Road Trip!

The other highlight was definitely our first mini-break since returning to the States.  Over Labor Day weekend we rented a car and headed north, into the Adirondacks.  We stayed in Lake George where we experienced rainy and cloudy days which allowed for lots and lots of scenic byway driving.  We spent nearly the whole trip driving around and exploring an area we've never been to before.  It was fantastic!

at the fair

On Sunday afternoon we made our way to Syracuse where we spent the day at The Great New York State Fair.  It's been so long since we've been to a good ole American state fair and we were really looking forward to it.  Our main reason for going was to see the demolition derby, though we enjoyed the farm animals too.  Unbeknownst to us, the demo derby also included Figure 8 races, which I can't remember ever having been exposed to before but which turned out to be our favorite part.  GD I love watching cars crash (when safety harnesses are in use and no injuries occur).  Merika!

Figure 8

And with that, now we're up to date.  Though there's hopefully still many more days of summer remaining, I can't help but acknowledge that my favorite season's demise is imminent.  I'm not sure how New York handles autumn but I'm expecting brilliant colors and crisp days along with the requisite griping about the weather and how short the summer was and can you believe it's already fall.  But, not to be deterred, we already have one day trip planned and purchased and we'll hopefully have at least a few more before the end of the year.  Now that we're able to afford them, getting out of the city is almost as fun as being in it and, if all goes to plan, we've got less than a year to explore this part of the country and we've already wasted 8 months.  We've definitely got to make up for lost time with no more time to lose.

July in New York City

Camping in Queens, Alley Pond Park

July was a lovely summer month here in New York City.  We did experience what one expects from a New York summer (e.g. suffocating heat paired with stifling humidity and the constant stench of stale urine) but, surprisingly, that was apparently an anomaly because most locals were decrying it as abnormal (at least the weather bit; the stale urine bit is normal).  To prove their point, the high heat and humidity only lasted a couple of weeks and the rest of the month consisted of absolutely lovely summer days including something we've missed terribly since leaving Utah, warm nights, no jacket required.  Man, have we missed these warm nights.

Although we found the high heat and humidity very uncomfortable, we didn't complain.  We've loved every minute of this summer weather because it's exactly what we wanted when we moved here.  Heat.  Real heat.  And a real summer.  It's been great!

Coney Island desserts

Besides the lovely summer weather, July also introduced us to our favorite part of New York, Coney Island.  Having just discovered it in early July, we've already been countless times, even forcing a visiting London friend to join us on one of our midweek treks.  (He was just as enamored as us, by the way.)

After discovering the Urban Park Rangers family camping program in mid-July, we've since camped in Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island via this program.  We really enjoyed these urban camping trips and they've successfully reignited our joy in camping, which our last camping trip, to Yosemite (a very long time ago), had extinguished.

Enter the Dragon in Brooklyn

Mike accepted a long-term temp assignment in mid-July which has allowed us to start planning holidays and mini-breaks again, something we're really excited about because there's a lot we want to see in this region before we move abroad next year.  With Mike's new job and our new apartment, July is the month where everything appears to be coming together for us.

Urban Camping

Marine Park, Brooklyn

Summer is quickly becoming our favorite season here in New York City.  Overlooking the constant and intrusive smell of urine, and even with the suffocating humidity, New York City is really coming alive right now and our calendar is just filled to capacity with all the free cultural events and outdoor activities on offer.  From outdoor movies and concerts to kayaking on the Hudson, the free activities are vast and plentiful and we're doing our best to experience them all.

Nature hike

One of the highlights of this summer will no doubt be last weekend's urban camping adventure.  New York City Parks and Recreation has this great Urban Park Rangers program which I just stumbled upon because, much like Coney Island, the coolest things occurring in this city are well kept secrets.  The Urban Park Rangers program offers many free, ranger led activities, including canoeing and birding, and this past weekend we got to participate in the family camping component.

The family camping program is designed to expose city kids and families to the experience of camping and occurs in city parks throughout the five boroughs of New York.  Our urban camping experience took place at Salt Marsh Nature Center in Marine Park in Brooklyn.

making s'mores

The program was supposed to begin at 6pm on Saturday night but our subway train was delayed and we didn't get there until 7pm.  Luckily, they waited for us before beginning (the whole night was really friendly and welcoming like that) with a couple of ice breakers for the group of twenty one (though another family of four did join us later in the evening).  After learning everyone's names, we headed out on a ranger led nature hike through the marsh (with ranger-provided binoculars for everyone), including a stop at an osprey nest with three chicks and two very protective parents.  We got back to camp and set-up our ranger-provided tents and had a dinner of ranger-provided MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) before heading out on another, much shorter, night hike to hear the sounds of the night creatures whilst allowing the rangers back at camp the opportunity to set up for s'mores.

Salt Marsh Nature Center (our campsite)

Bedtime was called at around 11pm but the nature center was left open for private use throughout the night.  We were woken up at around 6am the next morning, packed up camp and were home by 8am.  The whole experience only cost us the $2.50 subway ride (each way, per person) and allowed us the opportunity to camp again without having to re-outfit ourselves nor rent a car.  What a great program and what a memorable experience!

Mike & I hope to do at least one more of these family camping nights before the summer is over.  The registration process is via lottery and, though this one was under-subscribed, I get the feeling that's probably not the case for all of them.  If it turns out the program is as popular as it should be then we'll consider ourselves very lucky to have gotten in on our first try.  We had a great time.  Also, those MREs are really quite tasty.

June

Our first mini-break (with a friend)

We've had a very eventful June.  Mike got a job and then quit the job (the same job), we started volunteer teaching our Adult ESL classes for Columbia University's Community Impact, we went on our first mini-break, we were almost killed during Tropical Storm Andrea, we moved to East Harlem and we celebrated 14 years of wedded togetherness. See. Very eventful.

We didn't do much to celebrate our wedding anniversary.  We don't really celebrate it.  We do celebrate the day we met, which happens on July 3rd, though.  The day we wed is arbitrary but the day we met, that was destiny.  Still, we did enjoy a lovely Vietnamese meal of Bun Xuong Nuong to mark the occasion.

Friday at Governors Ball

Tropical Storm Andrea kicked our asses.  We didn't hear any music at the Governors Ball Music Festival on Randall's Island due to the pounding rain and gale force winds but we still had a good time volunteering at the Doing Art Together booth and we'd probably do it again.  Maybe.

After the hardest apartment search ever, we finally found a place to call home.  It's a railroad apartment in East Harlem, "El Barrio", at 1st & 106th, on the 4th floor of a walk-up.  We've now spent just over a week there and our first impressions are that it's much more "neighborhoody" than our old place (sidewalk BBQs, evening conversations lingering outside open shops) with a ton less tourists.  It's also an easier commute to my job at East 43rd and much closer to Central Park (where I've always wanted to go running).

Our new apartment

We went on an evening passeggiata in our new neighborhood the other night but were diverted by our first "salvaging" opportunity.  We wound up grabbing a lovely desk and two chairs off the sidewalk, all solid wood and quality pieces.  Now we have four pieces of furniture to help our new place feel like home (we bought an air mattress earlier).  Hot tip: the end of the month (aka moving day) is a great time for salvaging.

The first half of 2013 has proven to be much more challenging than we had ever anticipated.  But, now that we have a permanent place to call home, maybe other things will begin to fall in to place as well?  Wouldn't that be nice?

Summer Volunteers

Columbia University campus

Mike & I are starting our summer by making a couple of volunteering commitments.  I've been hankering to volunteer since our Dundee days but pickings were a bit slim in that small town and we were far too busy being super popular in London to even contemplate the idea (except, early on, we did volunteer one day in the Carshalton lavender fields).  Now here, where we seem to have nothing but time, we decided to see what was available.

Well, as I suspected, opportunities abound and everyone wants a piece of us.  After a few interviews and inquiries, we've selected one long-term commitment, teaching English as a second language to adults at Columbia University's Community Impact program, and one shorter commitment, working the beer booth at the Governors Ball music festival for Doing Art Together.

We had our first teacher orientation at Columbia last night.  It was a lot of fun and we're both really excited to get into the classroom.  Classes start on Wednesday.  We chose ESL because we expect Mike to spend at least his first 9 months in Hong Kong teaching English and we want to make sure it's something he enjoys.  We chose Community Impact's adult ESL program because it's Columbia University and will look great on our resumes.

Doing Art Together is a short commitment, just this weekend, and gives us free entrance into the music festival on the days we volunteer.  I'm not a huge fan of music festivals (see this post) because they're crowded and there are long lines everywhere but I might enjoy myself if standing safely within a beer serving booth.  For charity. Also, it might take me back to the good old days of helping The Cascades Conservation Partnership at festivals throughout Seattle during the summer of 2001.  I saw Billy Idol, Lyle Lovett, Burt Bacharach, Chris Isaak, plus many others that summer, and all for free while volunteering for TCCP.  It was a great summer.

Although this weekend is supposed to be ensconced by Tropical Storm Andrea, and there are flood warnings and thunderstorms predicted, I'm sure we'll still have a good time.  It's a rare event that can surround us with beer and music and not produce a couple of happy Furnesses.  Make it free and it's damn near unheard of.

Hong Kong Calling

It's been a week since we started considering a move to Taiwan.  We had settled on Taipei but then we spoke to Mike's brother and he planted another seed, why not Hong Kong?  We briefly considered it before returning to the idea of Taipei.  But, upon further consideration and after exploring visas and housing, it appears as though we've settled on the idea of Hong Kong as our next move.

As you may know, ever since our trip there in 2010 I have been promoting the city as one I would move to "in a second".  It is easily one of our top 5 favorite cities (though, as we've discovered with New York, visiting a city as a tourist is very different from living there as a resident) and we're really looking forward to this next adventure.

picture in The New York Times

Recent events have made us realize that we had considered London our home, though only there for a short time.  As we approach the 6 month mark for our time in New York (equivalent to the last stretch spent in London) we are nowhere near the feeling of home we had there.  To that point, I saw this article in today's New York Times and was reminded of my post from about this time last year.

Besides the picture, the article talks about the emerging art scene and otherwise just speaks to me.  I think if you played it backwards it would say "Mike + Desi should move to Hong Kong" (and, maybe also, "Paul is dead"). Hong Kong wants us to move there.  Clearly.  And we will.

The Adventure Isn't Over

enjoying a pitcher whilst conversing

Last night was a lovely spring evening in New York City and, due to Mike's work schedule, the first opportunity we've had to really talk in a long while. We don't often discuss our personal struggles with each other because they're rather rare and usually temporary, gone with the day, but we really should change that behavior because when we do have real conversations they're very therapeutic and often enjoyable.  Last night we were able to have one of those real conversations.

One of the things we discussed was my recent sad post and my belief that the adventure is now over for us because we're back in the US and that we're just supposed to pick up where we left off and carry on as before and how I'm having a real hard time accepting that.  And, because the fight in me comes back every once in a while, why do I have to accept that?

Adding to this new idea that I don't have to accept that the adventure is over, Mike's new job isn't working out.  He's tried his hardest to make it work but the guy he works for is a maniac and treats him terribly.  Additionally, my job isn't working out either.  Of course, mine isn't as bad as Mike's but it was supposed to be my dream job and is instead just a huge disappointment.  We both still love New York as a city but the professional culture here is light years away from what we have experienced or expected and it's just not a good fit.

Earlier this year, when we were pretty sure New York was going to be another failure for us and we were about a month away from packing up and moving to Mike's parents' house, broken, weary, and poor, where we would be ensconced in their safe arms and be able to forget about the cruel world for a time, Mike's brother suggested an alternative: why not move to Taiwan (where he has lived for most of the time I've known him)?  Though we didn't seriously consider it at the time, because burying our heads in Mike's parents' house sounded so much better than trying and failing yet again, the seed was planted.  Now that we're a few months removed from those dire days and have found that we can survive in New York but we're questioning whether we want to, we're revisiting the Taiwan idea.

Taipei 101, circa Jan 2010

If we did decide to move, this might be our smartest and best move yet.  We'd probably target the latter half of next year, so we'd have at least 14 months to prepare.  Mike would have a job prior to our moving (teaching English), so no mad rush to find employment upon arrival.  We've also been there before (we visited Mike's brother there in 2009) and would have family nearby, with plenty of experience to help us navigate.  Seriously, this just might be our best move yet.

Having just started this line of thought last night, I'm already feeling so much better about everything.  This possibility has given me a new perspective on our last few years.  If we hadn't given up everything to move to Scotland then Mike wouldn't have his degree and moving to Taiwan wouldn't be an option.  If nothing else, I'm no longer feeling like a failure.  I feel like an adventurer again.  It's a good feeling.