The Adventure Isn't Over

enjoying a pitcher whilst conversing

Last night was a lovely spring evening in New York City and, due to Mike's work schedule, the first opportunity we've had to really talk in a long while. We don't often discuss our personal struggles with each other because they're rather rare and usually temporary, gone with the day, but we really should change that behavior because when we do have real conversations they're very therapeutic and often enjoyable.  Last night we were able to have one of those real conversations.

One of the things we discussed was my recent sad post and my belief that the adventure is now over for us because we're back in the US and that we're just supposed to pick up where we left off and carry on as before and how I'm having a real hard time accepting that.  And, because the fight in me comes back every once in a while, why do I have to accept that?

Adding to this new idea that I don't have to accept that the adventure is over, Mike's new job isn't working out.  He's tried his hardest to make it work but the guy he works for is a maniac and treats him terribly.  Additionally, my job isn't working out either.  Of course, mine isn't as bad as Mike's but it was supposed to be my dream job and is instead just a huge disappointment.  We both still love New York as a city but the professional culture here is light years away from what we have experienced or expected and it's just not a good fit.

Earlier this year, when we were pretty sure New York was going to be another failure for us and we were about a month away from packing up and moving to Mike's parents' house, broken, weary, and poor, where we would be ensconced in their safe arms and be able to forget about the cruel world for a time, Mike's brother suggested an alternative: why not move to Taiwan (where he has lived for most of the time I've known him)?  Though we didn't seriously consider it at the time, because burying our heads in Mike's parents' house sounded so much better than trying and failing yet again, the seed was planted.  Now that we're a few months removed from those dire days and have found that we can survive in New York but we're questioning whether we want to, we're revisiting the Taiwan idea.

Taipei 101, circa Jan 2010

If we did decide to move, this might be our smartest and best move yet.  We'd probably target the latter half of next year, so we'd have at least 14 months to prepare.  Mike would have a job prior to our moving (teaching English), so no mad rush to find employment upon arrival.  We've also been there before (we visited Mike's brother there in 2009) and would have family nearby, with plenty of experience to help us navigate.  Seriously, this just might be our best move yet.

Having just started this line of thought last night, I'm already feeling so much better about everything.  This possibility has given me a new perspective on our last few years.  If we hadn't given up everything to move to Scotland then Mike wouldn't have his degree and moving to Taiwan wouldn't be an option.  If nothing else, I'm no longer feeling like a failure.  I feel like an adventurer again.  It's a good feeling.

Missing Europe and What Could Have Been

Mike enjoying the fruits of his labor
(yes, that is a bride at a bar mitzvah)

Mike has been working some crazy hours.  We think this is what happens when one becomes an adult.  We don't like it but we're accepting it, for now at least.  Since Mike started his job in mid-April, he's been working six days a week and at least 12 hours each day.  Crazy, right?  Happily, this past weekend was the last event he has on until September and yesterday we received word that the end of these crazy work hours just might be nigh.  More importantly, we're looking at the possibility of actually getting some paid time off over the July 4th holiday.  I was initially very excited upon hearing this news because I love to plan our holidays but, after just a few hours, my excitement has turned into a whole bunch of other feelings.

I'm not sure if I've discussed the utter devastation we experienced last year when the UK eliminated our visa scheme, essentially destroying our 20 year plan.  Perhaps due to the mind switching into survival mode, and all our efforts being focused on our forced return to the US, I may not have mentioned our heartbreak, or at least not harped on about it.  But, now that we've come out the other end and staunched the downward spiral, I would like to state, for the record, how utterly devastated I am that we gave up everything for only a two and a half year experience.  I could've accepted the absolute loss for a 20 year adventure but for just two and a half years?  Perhaps time will change my mind but right now I'm not fully convinced it wasn't an absolute failure.

To be honest, Dundee was horrid.  Even with my sweet government job, we were still two people living on one person's very low salary in a horrible small town surrounded by scary hillbillies.  We lived in almost complete isolation during this time and, with the bulk of our two and a half years abroad spent there, this may explain my feelings of resentment, remorse, and anger.

Once we got down to London our fortunes changed immensely and, had we not had to save every penny for our imminent transatlantic move, we would've been living quite comfortably.  We had an apartment we liked, great friends, and jobs we both loved.  We were able to experience what could have been for about 6 months, and it was very nearly perfect and exactly what we had hoped it would be.  Losing that reality is no doubt the source of my sadness.

The Plan had us living in London for two years where we would've, with no doubt in our minds, been very successful.  If The Plan had been allowed to continue I would've accepted every sacrifice as having been worthy but that's not what happened and today we find ourselves worse off than we were as newlyweds, back in 1999.  I can't help but compare where we were to where we are.  Living abroad is different; because we had never been there before we had no basis for comparison.  But, starting over in an American city; we've been here before.

As I begin to plan our first real holiday since returning to the US I can't help but recall our recent past and how it could have all been very different.  If we'd gotten to stay in the UK, I'd be comparing Portugal to Croatia or Finland to Austria.  Instead I'm comparing Boston to Providence and Maine to Vermont.  There was a time when our current situation - living in New York, comparing east coast cities for upcoming holidays - would've been acceptable and exciting but after everything we've been through I can't help but feel like a giant failure.

Being A New Yorker

Random 8th Ave Street Fair

So, I just experienced my first street fair as a New Yorker.  I did stumble upon one as a tourist back in 2008 and we've passed them since we moved here earlier this year but this is the first time we walked out our front door and our main avenue, 8th Avenue, had been co-opted by street fair merriment, complete with entertainment stage and police placed traffic barriers.

In the days leading up to this event there were no signs announcing that 8th Ave would be closed on Saturday from 9am to 8pm; there were no advance warnings.  We just start Mike's morning commute at 8:50am and see a few portable toilets, barriers being placed, booths being erected and hear a dude screaming, "you want me to fuckin' respect you, you better use your head" to some guy for some inexplicable reason.  I believe, my friends, this is what being a New Yorker feels like.

I just returned from visiting my local street fair and feel more like a New Yorker than I did when I left the house this morning.  First of all, this is my neighborhood and there's a certain level of pride I have in the fact that I just walked down the street and was able to partake in a freaking New York City street fair.  Secondly, the New York Times had a booth and I signed up for my Sunday delivery, with my 10011 zip code, which I will get delivered to my freaking NYC brownstone basement apartment beginning next Sunday.  Additionally, not only did I get a golf umbrella and tote bag (emblazoned with "The New York Times" for my trouble) but, and how fun is this, I got to deal with a super crazy old time New Yorker in the process of subscribing for said delivery.

Super crazy old time New Yorker lady was in front of me in line at the booth but didn't believe that it was a real New York Times booth.  She wanted everything in writing and kept asking, "how do I know you're real?".  It was awesome.  Apparently, even though she doubted their legitimacy, the tote bag and umbrella were too good for her to pass up.  But, she still made those poor staffers work for their wages.  And, after about 3 minutes of her shenanigans, I decided to jump the line and said, "I believe you" which almost instantly resulted in my receiving their full attention.

Crazy New Yorker lady didn't like my impertinence or the fact that I was a more welcome customer than her.  She responded by stating, "can you help me first since I was here first?  I'm sorry I'm being difficult but I'm a New Yorker.  Now, can you put everything you've told me in writing along with your first and last name?"  The two New Yorkers working the booth (and myself, thank you very much) just continued as before.  Lesson of the day: crazy does not equal New Yorker and New Yorker does not equal crazy.  Crazy equals crazy.  But, all of it equals entertainment.  And that, my friends, was perhaps one of my best New Yorker experiences since moving here.

Awesome April

Three whole months after arriving, could it be that our lives in New York City can finally begin?  After failing twice to secure a real job at the Ford Foundation, I was fortunate at least to have made a positive impression during my attempts and was offered a long-term temp assignment within the Democratic Participation unit.  Monday was my first day and it already feels like home.

In addition to having my dream job, my commute is quintessential New York.  I get to ride the 4 or 5 express from Union Square to Grand Central where I exit the subway station through the Chrysler Building.  Seriously.  How cool is that?

Mike also received some good news of his own this past week.  After a pretty rough job search he finally scored with what could possibly be his dream job.  These are early days and he's still within the trial period but to even get the opportunity to audition, especially after these last few demoralizing months, is just amazing for him.

Now, before we can truly begin to celebrate our new life in NYC, there is the small matter of finding a new place to live.  The lease on our furnished basement studio on West 15th is ending in June.  We would love (LOVE!) a one bedroom in the East Village or Lower East Side but we don't know how feasible that is.  Apparently, getting an apartment in New York is a competitive enterprise and we're not really prepared to compete.  We've got bad credit, no savings, poor employment history, and equally dubious address history.  Yeah, we're screwed.  So, until we can beef up our game, we may have to settle for something less desirable and who knows where that will be?  Otherwise, our rebuilding year is looking pretty close to officially beginning and we're getting pretty excited about our future again.

One observation to note, since returning from abroad we've both recognized that we now consider ourselves adults (though we technically became adults nearly two decades ago).  During our time abroad we somehow managed to shed our adolescent need to eschew convention.  These last three months have especially made our new adult statuses apparent and we now find ourselves ready to wear blazers, work late hours and toe lines.  Although we still have fires in our bellies (and reserve the right to rebel against the establishment), we're much more welcoming of, and grateful for, the opportunities we have and we're not going to discard them quite as thoughtlessly as we once did.  Perhaps that's one of the lessons one is supposed to imbibe from the college experience?

Mid-March Update

Here we sit.  It's now March 14 and we don't have much to show for it.  We're still both unemployed.  As I suspected, I failed at my first attempt at my dream job.  Luckily, they saw my potential and offered me the opportunity to interview for another position within the organization.  I had my final interview for that position this past Monday.  Sadly, I won't know if I succeeded this time until next week.  Preliminary reports say I 'interviewed very well' so I'm cautiously optimistic.  Mike's had no luck whatsoever though.  Poor guy.

Brooklyn side of the Williamsburg Bridge

We're continuing to explore our city on foot to help fill our days.  We just discovered that there is pedestrian access on more than just the Brooklyn Bridge so we've decided to walk across all the bridges.  We started this past weekend with the Williamsburg Bridge.  With fewer people than the Brooklyn Bridge, and separate paths for bikes and pedestrians, it made for a much nicer walk across the East River.  It's also somewhat protected from the elements and has the added bonus of being used for the J train.  The pedestrian and bike paths are above the car and train traffic so you get to watch trains pass below you while walking across the river. I thought that was fun.

Bumping into a friend from London in the LES

While walking from Chelsea to the Lower East Side for our Williamsburg Bridge walk this past Sunday afternoon we bumped into a friend from London.  We're just walking down Bowery when someone yells my name.  It was so awesome!  Seriously, what are the odds?

This has happened to me once before though.  We were in Washington DC in 2008, staying at a small B&B in Columbia Heights, when one of the few people also staying there turns out to be someone I went to high school (or junior high) with back in Utah.  Crazy how small this world is, right?!

Anyway, that makes two friends from London and zero friends from the US.  I'm not sure why that's something I'm keeping track of.  I just find it interesting.

Hopefully next week brings good news for our family.  We need some good news.

We're NYC Residents! What?!

Central Park

We made it!  We're back in the States and we're loving every minute of it!

Our journey started on 2 January, around 6:40am.  We took all our worldly belongings to St Pancras train station for the Eurostar to Brussels where we would be spending our last night in Europe.

Our last visit to Brussels, back in June, did not leave us with a favorable impression.  We actually hated it.  But, third time's the charm and, after spending another day and night there, we now have a much more favorable opinion.  However, our recommendation would be to not spend more than a day there.

Our new home

Early on the 3rd we made our way to Brussels Midi station for our train to Dusseldorf Airport where we would be catching our Air Berlin flight to JFK.  Our flight was pleasant enough and we arrived in our new city around 4:45pm.  We took a taxi into midtown Manhattan, seamlessly checked into our apartment, and were home by 7pm.

Our studio apartment is located in the basement of a brownstone in the Meatpacking District / Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.  Our neighborhood park is The High Line, definitely one of our favorites.  We love our new neighborhood.

My lunch spot

We had the weekend to wander as tourists before hitting the job hunt on Monday morning.  True to form, I had a job by Wednesday.  My office is in Rockefeller Center.  I walk past the Today show filming on the street every morning.  My lunch spot is the sunny bench overlooking the ice rink.  I'm loving NYC!

Happy New Year!

NYE 2011

Last year at this time we were watching the last sunset of 2011 over the Mediterranean in Rome.  This year we'll be bidding 2012 adieu from a friend's abode in London.  Though we're thankful for many things from this past year our new friends may be our most cherished.  After two rather solitary years in Dundee, we are both now very aware of just how valuable friends are and we're grateful to have made such good ones in our short time here in London.

Best holiday ever.

Overall, though 2012 was a bitch at times, it has been a good year.  With all the challenges and obstacles and shit 2012 threw at us, it also gave us some of the best days of our lives.

We didn't get to travel as much as in 2011 but we still got a good deal of sightseeing in.  As stated, we started 2012 in Rome but also got to visit Brussels, Warsaw, and Budapest, in addition to further explorations of both Scotland and England.

The highlight of our year, without a doubt, was our summer trip to Baltimore to see our friends get married.  Surrounded by love and great friends in a gorgeous setting for an entire weekend?  Absolute heaven.  We also had the pleasure of T-Bird's company in Amsterdam for almost a full week (which makes Amsterdam our favourite European trip) and a surprise visit from Paul here in London for a few days.

Other highlights from this year include Mike graduating with his BA Fine Arts and our move to London, finally ending the torture that was Dundee.  Yes, some shit happened in 2012 but a whole lot of good stuff happened too and no one died.  Thus, 2012 was a good year.

We're starting 2013 off with a life change.  We move to New York City on 3 Jan where we hope to settle for the next few years.  After 2.5 years of transient living, we're really looking forward to some permanence and stability.  Hopefully we'll find that in NYC.

We hope your 2012 was a good year and we wish you all a happy and healthy 2013.  Cheers!

Updates and Exhibitions

Mike's first London exhibition begins on Thursday.  Espacio Gallery is a lovely gallery on Bethnal Green Road owned by a cooperative of 100 artists.  The show will be much smaller than that though, only showcasing a few artists.  Mike will have three pieces on display.  We're pretty excited.

The dude who hit me in the head with a bottle was arrested last week.  He goes to court today to enter his plea.  I know this because the British Transport Police have been calling me regularly with updates.  What I don't know, because I haven't thought to ask, is what he's being charged with.  I'll ask that next time I talk with them, which should be next week.

We finalised our New York City flat.  We'll be staying in a studio located in the basement of a brownstone in the Meatpacking District on West 15th Street.  You have no idea how unbelievably awesome we think that is.  We had been resigned to a lovely place in Harlem but we would've preferred a shit hole in lower Manhattan.  Luckily, a shit hole we did find.  We'll be sacrificing comfort for location, at least for our first three months.  After that, if we haven't found jobs yet, we'll probably be homeless in Bushwick.  Ah, sweet adventure.

And Then We Were Robbed

Last week was shaping up to be one of our best in London thus far.  We had a friend down from Glasgow and our social calendar was filled.  We may have drank too much on Wednesday night but we rallied and headed to Carnaby Street with a few friends for a street fair on Thursday evening.  It was a great night.  And then we came home to find our place had been robbed.

Mike on his first day at uni,
with his backpack on

The thieves stole most of our electronics and Mike's backpack.  They broke in via the front door but it was closed and locked when we came home and nothing appeared amiss from the exterior.  The first clue something nefarious had occurred was when I walked into the hallway and saw a bunch of stuff on the floor in the living room/bedroom.  I asked Mike what had happened, since he's the last to leave in the morning, and he didn't know what I was talking about.  That's when I knew.

We lost our digital camera, our camcorder, Mike's 17" Dell laptop, Mike's iPod, and my Acer netbook.  Luckily, the thieves weren't giant dicks and they didn't break anything just for fun.  They also didn't take our external hard drive, which has a bunch of irreplaceable stuff on it.  Everything they did take is replaceable.  Eventually.  But, not now.  With 3.5 months before we move back to the States, we can't afford to replace anything.

Buying my Acer netbook in 2010

It took the cops just over an hour to arrive.  They were great.  There were three of them and they immediately apologised for the delay.  Apparently someone was robbed at knife point just down the street and they had to attend to that first.  Of course that's more important.  Actually, I was surprised the cops came at all.  My car was broken into in Salt Lake and a purse was stolen off the back seat.  I got nothing from the cops.  Apparently, Salt Lake cops are busier than London cops.  Doubt it.

The cops also sent a forensics guy over.  He searched for fingerprints and found a footprint on the door but in the end determined the thieves had been wearing gloves.  The cops posited that we were hit randomly.  The thieves probably were knocking on doors and those that weren't answered were targeted.  Fortunately, the cops believe our thieves were spooked mid-burglary and left without completing their heist.

Our landlord had the locksmith over on Friday and our place is more secure now.  The cops don't believe the thieves will return.  We received a call from them on Sunday with an update on our case.  Forensics had come back negative so with no clues they had to close the case.  We won't be getting any of our stuff back.  No one will be punished.

Happily, we discovered our support network in London is pretty great.  My employer has let us borrow a disused computer, a coworker let us borrow his tablet until the computer was sorted, and Mike's employer was willing to help too (but mine was too fast).  Another coworker offered us her TV (but with the computer we don't need one).  And, besides my netbook and Mike's iPod, we were looking to replace most of what was taken once we arrived in New York anyway.  Besides the violation, the whole experience wasn't as terrible as one would expect.  Still, let's hope we never have to experience that again.  And, maybe we'll look into getting renter's insurance and keeping the serial numbers of our electronics somewhere safe.

Back in the USA

Mike & I returned to the States earlier this month.  Good friends were getting married outside Baltimore and it was can't miss; a perfect reason to return to our home country and a much better reason than because we're being kicked out of our current one (which will be the reason we return in January).

The cheapest tickets (by at least half) from Europe to the US were out of Brussels into New York City so we turned a weekend trip into an 18 day holiday, adding Brussels, New York City and Amsterdam to what would've been just a Baltimore weekend.

Besides my trip to New York in 2008, we haven't been to NYC since our first visit back in 1999, on our honeymoon road trip from Salt Lake to Belfast, ME.  Perhaps it was the sight of a water fountain (free water) near free public restrooms but, upon arriving into LaGuardia, we knew right away it was nice to be back, both in NYC as well as in the USA.

In our few days in NYC before travelling south to Baltimore, we explored the Upper West Side and Brooklyn, both real contenders for our new address, as well as walking the length of the west side of Manhattan and breadth of Downtown.  We wandered through Washington Square Park, Central Park, Riverside Park, The Highline, Battery Park, and Brooklyn Bridge Park and spent an hour on the (free) Staten Island Ferry.  We toured the Federal Reserve and 9/11 Memorial and saw the Picasso exhibition at the Gagosian Gallery on Madison.

If we weren't confident that our relocation to NYC in January was the right move before this trip we definitely are now.  We are really looking forward to calling NYC home.

Plan B

Mike spoke with his adviser this past week and she basically reaffirmed what we had learnt on our own:

1. The Post Study Work Visa has been eliminated and no existing students are being grandfathered into the programme, and
2. If we want to stay in the UK, our only option is the Employer Sponsored Work Visa (aka indentured servitude).

Happily, she did have one piece of good news for us: the UK gives us 6 months after Mike's graduation to get our shit together.  We had thought we'd only have until October, so this is actually quite helpful.

We're moving to London on 2 July.  Our plan is to duplicate last summer's success and, if we're lucky, find an employer willing to sponsor one of us.  However, unsure of the difficulty involved, we're not expecting to stay in London past December.  Come January 2013, we'll be calling New York City home.

We had hoped to live in London for at least two years, travelling Europe whilst earning British pounds to help replenish our completely exhausted savings.  Now, we'll have six months in London before moving to one of our favourite cities in the world.  Definitely not on the same level as Plan A but not a terrible alternative either.

We're disappointed about not getting to see as much of Europe as we had hoped but we're oddly excited about returning to the States.  Even with every decision we've made since 2008 having been in support of our plan to live abroad for the foreseeable future, we've been able to formulate our Plan B rather quickly and without too much anger or sadness.  Of course we'll still try to wring every last bit of adventure from our remaining months in the UK but we're also looking forward to living a more permanent existence back in the States, without fear of deportation or visa revocation.  Surprisingly, we're really looking forward to coming home.