Next Chapter, Please

As we begin to bid Dundee adieu, I'm trying to frame how I'll come to remember our time here.  Throughout these two years I've been rather depressed and disappointed by the whole experience and, while beneficial for Mike, these years have been rather detrimental for me.  Although I'm thrilled to be ending this chapter, I carry a fear that these years will come back to haunt me.  For example, I will not be surprised when the doctor tells me that the reason for my fatal illness is due to the short time I lived in Dundee.

When we first arrived in Dundee, we were very happy with our new surroundings.  It would take a couple of months for the excitement to wear off and the reality of our situation to emerge.  It became evident by mid-October 2010 that Dundee was a small, depressed town with a severe binge-drinking problem and a rather high level of drink crime (e.g. vandalism, mostly in the form of broken shop windows).  Employment options were limited and the realisation that we were going to be unable to continue to meet our financial obligations back in the States proved very stressful.  These first months would prove to be our hardest.

Things began to get brighter once we got down to London, in May 2011.  I regained a bit of my confidence, Mike was able to find employment in his field, and we began enjoying the UK a bit more.  Upon returning to Dundee, in September 2011, we had a wholly different perspective and were ready to give it another chance.  I know now that any attempts to paint Dundee in a positive light were just our attempts to mentally prepare for another two years here.  However, as soon as Mike made the decision to graduate early, all attempts to shine this turd stopped and the reality that this bad situation would be ending shortly has made these few remaining months almost as difficult as the first few.

I know that I will remember our time in Dundee differently than how I've represented it here.  If I don't purge these years from my mind completely, I may actually remember parts of it rather fondly.  In the short term I will only remember the bad but my long term memory will probably be quite kind, if for no other reason than the amount of travel I've been able to achieve while stationed in this purgatory.

Although we've been here since August 2010, we've actually only lived in Dundee for 15 of these 22 months.  Moving here has provided us with the opportunity to move to Paris, Mallorca, and Rome for a month each and to London for four.  Additionally, we've been to Sweden, Germany, The Netherlands, and Belgium, all within these 22 months, not to mention extensive travels within Britain itself.  If this time has benefited me at all it is due to these travel experiences.

As we approach our final days in Dundee, and try to contain our glee whilst surrounded by people who are choosing to remain here, we are willing to acknowledge that this experience, when taken in context, has probably been a net positive one.  Besides the possibility of these years being the cause of whatever kills me, this time can be viewed positively in the immediate aftermath because it is now over and we can move forward. In the larger context, Mike now has a BA Fine Arts from an esteemed institution and the confidence to practice as an artist.

Though the remainder of our thirties will be spent paying off this debt (and that incurred during our twenties) and establishing new careers, at least we've accomplished what we set out to do (and enjoyed at least 30% of the experience).